I would say that there are no words to describe how I feel, but the truth is there are lots of words. Too many words. So many that I get all jumbled up trying to pin them down. Yes, I am thrilled, ecstatic, excited, proud, and even a little nervous. I've never been to an event like In Flow before, and while it has been something I wanted to do since I started hooping, I am still feeling a little intimidated. But this year has been all about me stepping out of my comfort zone, and accepting new challenges.
It means so much to me to have this opportunity. Before I had kids, if I had just wanted to spend money pursuing my hobbies and interests, I could have just done it. I didn't think twice about spending my entire wages on horseback riding, tattoos, and bellydance clothing and classes (yes those are the things that interested me before kids!), and if at that time I was into hooping and heard about In Flow, I would have gone in a heartbeat. I would not have batted an eyelash at spending $360 to go on a hoop retreat for the weekend. Things are so different now, and often in such cases there just isn't the money to be selfish, to want to spend it on me.
I would not trade my family for all the horses, or tattoos, or hip scarves, or even hoops in the worlds, but I would be lying if I didn't sometimes feel sad that I couldn't just be selfish and think of me and do what I want for a change. I don't know if that makes me sound harsh, but it is the reality of it. Not once have I ever regretted having my children, but I can tell you that more than once I wished I had even just a sliver of the freedom I had back then returned to me.
The freedom, time, and money to immerse myself in my passions, to connect with others like me, to learn from them.
Now, through this amazing opportunity, I get the chance to do that.
Only 3 more months to go! The In Flow Festival is taking place August 1-3 in Muskoka, Ontario. You can find out more about it at www.inflowfestival.com.
And, I finally figured out how to upload my entry video on YouTube! So here it is:
On any given day my mind is racing with thoughts about hooping. I can't control it. Hooping I'd like to be doing, hooping I am doing, hoops I plan on making and selling, classes I am teaching, classes I want to be teaching, ideas for events and workshops, building my hoop business, workshops I want to be taking, etc.... The list goes on and on. It can be overwhelming sometimes, but amazing at the same time. When I get all caught up in the tangle of hoop webs, I just take a step back and remind myself why I do it, why I love it, and that always puts a smile on my face.
You know what else puts a smile on my face? Winning the 2014 FlowBot Award. :)
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